Amy Schumer Quotes

I've cheated myself: there are other things I could have done to fill out the bouquet of my career.

Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

It was an odd coincidence that my career took off the same decade as having babies. I often wished it had been different, that I had my big career bump in my thirties and my babies in my forties or vice versa.

I've seen many actors go awry by making the wrong choices early on.

I am not surprised that they show no intention to follow in my footsteps, although if I had a second chance myself, I would certainly try to repeat my present career.

There are many things that, if I have to relive, maybe I will do it another way. But I would not like to look back and think what I have not been able to.

There is no way, believe me, despite my name being Winfield, and loving the game dearly. It wasn't in the cards. I didn't know what it was going to take to get here.

My greatest regret is not having gone to Wellesley College. it is something I have felt a little sad about my whole life.

I was always one step behind Marilyn. She made all the right moves, hung out with the right people who could advance her career. I was just the opposite. I was always breaking dates with moguls and running off with guys younger than myself.

I wish I'd lived in New York in my early twenties. Or learned to speak more languages at a young age. I didn't do either.

I'm concerned with the future. I'm concerned with my life, my present, my friends, people I love, people who love me. I have no intention of taking on a legacy that wasn't bestowed on me.

As far as 'Trainspotting' changing my life, I think I've said before I probably squandered a few opportunities. But I'm fine with that because everything's fine.

I definitely want to continue being an actress. I love it. The reason I'm going to college is because I do want knowledge in another field. College isn't the college experience for me. I'm not going to be in a sorority. I'm not going to network. I'm not even really going to make my lifelong friends.

Those regrets that I do have are, exclusively, not doing plays that I wish I had done.

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't finish college.

The only thing I regret in life is that I didn't practice basketball more.

When I'm sitting around, I'm thinking about how I can make my next professional career move, but more than anything, I'm thinking about the meaning of life and how fleeting it is.

I believe in sexual monogamy, but I don't believe in emotional monogamy.

One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong thing, and for years afterward you will wish you had done something different.

I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, That I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age.

Life gives to all the choice. You can satisfy yourself with mediocrity if you wish. You can be common, ordinary, dull, colorless, or yyou can channel your life so that it will be clean, vibrant, useful, progressive, colorful, and rich.

They say it's like true love, good help. you only get one in a lifetime.....there is so much you don't know about a person. i wonder if i could've made her days a little bit easier, if I'd tried. if i'd treated her a little nicer.

Surely every one realizes, at some point along the way, that he is capable of living a far better life than the one he has chosen.

I never want to look back on life and say I wish I did something, and I don't want anybody else to do that.

You don't always marry the love of your life.