Robert Mankoff Quotes

Never look a gift lion in the mouth.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment.

The other day the President said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. He paused, then said, would you like a puppy?

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

No man ought to looke a given horse in the mouth.

You are absolute angels of the first order. If I were Pope, I’d canonize you.” “The Pope would probably love to turn a cannon on you!

I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.

Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Well,I hope you like the ring." He held it out to me, he velvet lid still closed. "My mom hates it." "I'm sure I'll love it,then," I said, and he laughed.

You brought me grenades. You are officially the best girlfriend ever.

Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.

What can you say about a man, who on Mother's Day sends flowers to his mother-in-law, with a note thanking her for making him the happiest man on Earth?

Sometimes you want to fall on your knees and thank God in heaven for all the poor news reporting that goes on in the world.

I got my dad a great father's Day present. He called to say: 'Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.

Oh my God," he said. "A kind word from Rose Hathaway. I can die a happy man.

Thank goodness my education was neglected.

Your favorite virtue? An appreciation for irony.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

That's alright," said Hugo. "I've got some wine" Which was about all he seemed to have. He poured out two mugfuls. "Very nice," said Adrian, sipping appreciatively. "I wonder how they got the cat to sit on the bottle." "It's cheap, that's the main thing.

She did not look at the daffodils. They didn't mean anything. She looked at the daffodils. She said, 'Thank you for the daffodils.

True wit, to every man, is that which falls on another.

Goodness gracious me,” exclaimed Alexia, “what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair of binoculars and some opera glasses. What on earth are they called, binocticals, spectaculars?” The earl snorted his amusement and then tried to pretend he hadn't. “How about glassicals?” he suggested, apparently unable to resist a contribution.