Bert Kalmar Quotes

You touch me and I'll kick you in the rear.

I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it will be with a knife.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I’ll whip his ass!

Let me be clear to you, if you ever do that again, I’ll throw you off the fucking balcony…. I will break you in half.

I'll beat you up right now if you want me to.

Next time you want to hit me hit me with a baseball bat or a crowbar!

You’re a thug. Now get out of here and keep away.

Let's face it, when is it actually ever funny to joke about hitting someone? Never, right? The threat to give someone a slap, no matter how you look at it, is aggressive.

If I catch Corey Graves on the street, I'm gonna do something to him. I ain't gonna do it at the office or the airport, but if I catch Corey Graves on the street, you see that little bouffant hairdo he got? I'm gonna rearrange it for him.

...If you do not take it up with you in some way, I shall be under the necessity of breaking your head with this shovel

I ought to come up there and break your shuck nose.

I'd watch your mouth", he said, tilting his head as he looked at my ID."The last lunker who laughed at her picture spent the night in the emergency room with a drink umbrella jammed up his nose".

Don’t you have something to do? (Sin) If not for the fact it would result in your breaking every bone in my body and making me cry for Mommy, I’d be calling some cops. As it stands, I think my neck is best served by trying to talk sense into you. (Kish)

I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off.

My friend told me I went over to this guy and he pulled a knife.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I was hoping he would get up so I could hit him again and keep him down.

There's more than one way to sense violence.

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

Deliberate violence is more to be quenched than a fire.

I'm just a regular guy, but if you cross me it will get physical.

I see this fella built like a barn door... and there's all these fox hunters, who didn't like me, screaming and shouting and as I walked past him I looked at him and he hit me with something.