Melody Beattie Quotes

One thing my wife says is bad about me, is that I still care too much.

If you have a smothering parent, the effect it can apparently have on a child is to give them, in equal doses, a sense of too much self-esteem, because they are mummy's little princess or prince, and low self-esteem. It affects future relationships.

Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.

Pursuing fame is the ultimate in people-pleasing and the ultimate betrayal of self.

She wanted to lose herself in him. To tie his arms around her like a tourniquet. If she showed him how much she needed him, he'd run away.

Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.

Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.

Some young ladies are so starved for male approval that what should be a normal attraction to men is accelerated into an obsessive need for male affirmation. Tragically, these dear ladies allow themselves to be devoured in the arms of men who have neither regard not respect for them as people.

I just want everyone to like me. That's my main flaw.

I'm a bit too much of a people pleaser and that can be frustrating for people in your life.

There's something very addictive about people pleasing. It's a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate.

I'm independent. If a guy is too clingy or needy, I actually get afraid of hurting him - and I can't deal with that.

I think in terms of family, in terms of relationships, in terms of work, competition to be the favorite, to be the noticed, to be the one - I don't know if it exists for all personalities, but I know for sure it did with me.

I worked with someone who told me they'd never like me. But for some reason, I just felt like I needed her approval. So I started changing myself to please her. It made me stop being social and friendly. I was so unhappy.

I didn't know the word no, because I wanted to please everybody all the time. Every kid does.

A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.

I had years of therapy to recover from this. A lot of it had to with being a people pleaser, being the ultimate good girl. I wanted everyone to like me. I didn't really have a voice. I was afraid of growing up.

I like not being noticed. It has been a struggle because I love performing, but if I'm in a group of people and someone has a bigger personality, I'm like, 'Go ahead, and have fun!'

When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.

I've always been afraid of saying no to people because I don't want them to be disappointed and dislike me.

I've gone through my whole life caring deeply what people think of me.

Often we lose our identity trying to please or placate others.

Well, the truth is I'm very scared for people to dislike me. I have conflict-avoidance.

Sometimes you kind of lose yourself in someone else's personality.