Jessica Valenti Quotes

You'll always feel lonely if you always need validation. People don't like to be around those kinds of people.

Pursuing fame is the ultimate in people-pleasing and the ultimate betrayal of self.

You don't realize you're vying for the approval of everyone so much until being yourself is not approved of.

I spent my entire childhood going 'look at me, look at me, look at me,' before realising I needed someone to look at me for more than just what I was showing off for.

A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, "Stop trying to make me like you," and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a campaign for popularity, or better yet, a crowded funeral.

Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core of our being is often unacceptable. As a result, we work diligently to live up to - and sometimes down to - what others have made us out to be, whether or not it is an accurate reflection of who we are.

I'm convinced I got signed because of who I am. And it makes me sad.

I'm not worried any more about changing people's view of me.

I don't have the confidence to be a personality.

Lots of us when we're children believe 'oh well, if the world knew us as we really are, they'd know what wonderful, clever, brilliant, charming people we really are.'

If you walk into a room and one hundred people say, 'You are a lovely, beautiful person', who isn't going to be affected by that? But you have to tell yourself not to value that. You have to tell yourself - or at least I do - to not become accustomed to hearing applause in any way, because I think that's dangerous.

I had years of therapy to recover from this. A lot of it had to with being a people pleaser, being the ultimate good girl. I wanted everyone to like me. I didn't really have a voice. I was afraid of growing up.

When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.

My opinion about myself is so based on what other people think of me.

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.

I've always been afraid of saying no to people because I don't want them to be disappointed and dislike me.

I wasn't interested in exploiting myself.

I've gone through my whole life caring deeply what people think of me.

If we get our self-esteem from superficial places, from our popularity, appearance, business success, financial situation, health, any of these, we will be disappointed, because no one can guarantee that we'll have them tomorrow.

Never compromise yourself.

Maybe to become famous is to reassure yourself that whatever you're lacking inside, you've fulfilled that.

I don't have a strong sense of self-worth unless I'm doing something.

Until now, I was insecure and I believed what the people around me said in regarding what I should sing.

I was raised to sense what someone wanted me to be and be that kind of person. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.

It's hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing 'right,' which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.