Jim Gaffigan Quotes

New York at times runs me dry because there's so much to do. There's never enough time to do everything. It's nice to have the balance in Moscow.

New York is great, but I miss L.A. - I feel like there was something exotic about L.A. that I kind of underestimated at the time. It was very unfamiliar to me.

I'm born and raised in New York. I've lived between New York and New Orleans for the last 16 to 17 years.

Yeah, I think there are a lot of things about Cleveland that I miss. Los Angeles is a funny place to live.

My father and mother should have stayed in New York, where they met and married and where I was born.

I have tremendous affection for New York and my life, but I'm a satirist at heart. And it's easy to satirize New York.

I went to public school in L.A., so I felt like I'd been in a coma for three years. I woke up, and moved to New York.

Think of the country mouse and of the town mouse, and of the alarm and trepidation of the town mouse.

In New York City, a lot of people think "the great outdoors" is the area between your front door and a taxi cab.

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

I'll always be a Brooklyn girl.

I went to Europe in '52 or '53, and when I came back, I stopped in New York. I remember looking out of a window on a glorious October morning and there was New York. And I thought, 'I'm coming here. This is for me.'

Living in New York, no big deal. I am loving New York - there is something about the energy.

When I was in L.A., I thought I would never leave.

I grew up taking the Long Island Railroad from Baldwin, New York into Penn Station and walking upstairs to Madison Square Garden. Those are some of my favorite memories.

'Hanna' has grown up in mother nature's beautiful wilderness and that's what she knows. So for someone like me who has always had a life in the city, it was a chance to look beyond social conventions.

You'd think New York people was all wise; but no, they can't get a chance to learn. Every thing's too compressed. Even the hayseeds are bailed hayseeds. But what else can you expect from a town that's shut off from the world by the ocean on one side and New Jersey on the other?

New York is an ugly city, a dirty city. Its climate is a scandal, its politics are used to frighten children, its traffic is madness, its competition is murderous. But there is one thing about it - once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough.

I do miss things about Britain. I think there was a misconception, there definitely was, that I left because of bad press, and being pilloried. I left Britain because I fell in love with someone who lived in Switzerland - that was the main thing.

Anything with the power to make you laugh over thirty years later isn’t a waste of time. I think something like that is very close to immortality.

I think comedy in the last 5-7 years is as good as it's ever been in America. I like it when people push it. You go through periods where people did not push the envelope. The more you push it, the funnier you get.

New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.

That moment - to this ... may be years in the way they measure, but it's only one sentence back in my mind - there are so many days when living stops and pulls up and sits and waits like a train on the rails. I pass the hotel at 8 and at 5; there are cats in the alleys and bottles and bums, and I look up at the window and think, I no longer know where you are, and I walk on and wonder where the living goes when it stops.

When I was growing up I used to think that the best thing about coming from Des Moines was that it meant you didn't come from anywhere else in Iowa. By Iowa standards, Des Moines is a mecca of cosmopolitanism, a dynamic hub of wealth and education, where people wear three-piece suits and dark socks, often simultaneously.

Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole.