John Mulaney Quotes

Growing up, I was a kid pretending to be an adult.

I feel as though I've fooled the world into thinking I'm an adult and now they're letting me procreate.

I've been able to play a kid up to this point and pretend that I'm not a grown-up - well, at least for two hours a night!

I just feel like all the things that I do in my life just make me feel like a grown-up kid. That's pretty much what I am.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Being a teen is past for me. Worrying about the world and my place in it is not.

I was a boy, suddenly treated like the men and expected to act like them.

After all, we are not children. It's time we planned our life.

I still feel like I haven't grown up.

Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.

All my friends were in college when I was making 'Superbad.' We were drinking beer and watching movies and eating pizza. It wasn't like I was going to nice restaurants or anything like that, and I lived like a frat guy. Eventually it was time to grow up, be healthy and be responsible. You can't live like a kid forever, you know?

I think I am an adult.

I still feel like a kid sometimes myself so hard to believe that I'm a mom. Now I'm an adult! It only took 38 years!

I'm 18 and I like it!

Some people do need to grow up, but I don't think I'm there yet. I don't think I'm ready to do grown-up things and be a grown-up.

I'm not a girl anymore.

Most people don't grow up. It's too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. That's the truth of it. They honor their credit cards, they find parking spaces, they marry, they have the nerve to have children, but they don't grow up.

You can be 24 and continue to live like you're at college, or even continue to live like you're in high school. Or you can put on a shirt and tie and pretend to be an adult.

I always felt my emancipation into truly being a grown-up was when I had to figure out how to fold up a king-size fitted bottom sheet on my own.

I do think that despite my best efforts to resist it, I am now a grown-up. It's due to lots of very difficult decisions that you make over a long period of time - about motherhood, wifehood, and work, and all the things that one has to make decisions about.

It's not a character flaw to become an adult.

Being a kid is so much more fun than being an adult. I think that's the crux of it. I think men are just less inclined to grow up because it's much more fun being a child.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I hope that there's a difference between being childish and childlike and that I'm the latter, if you take my meaning. I often sort of wonder. I don't think I'm a terribly good grown-up; I don't take responsibility easily or well in many areas of life. Finance and stuff like that, I'm absolutely appalling.