Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing. Unlike being in a band or a play or something, I don't have to rely on anyone else but me.

I don't have any influences, any heroes, it's just me.

I'm a good assistant. That's why I don't have an assistant, because I'm so on it that no one can be as on it as me. I know that.

The thing I've always liked about performing is that I decide what I want to wear, whether I want to comb my hair.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Stand-up. It's the only place I'm comfortable.

People who want to do stand-up from the start - I mean that's an extremely self-centred thing to want, isn't it?

I don't follow nobody. If people want to follow me, it's because they see talent.

When we walk onto that stage I'm not feeling like I'm ruled by any other band.

Nobody has ever had to get me ready for a game.

I think people can't believe I can still walk and talk and get on the stage without assistance.

One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear.

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

It's exciting to see how fast your kids learn and grow. I'm not too worried about them, particularly the ones who like to break rules and don't follow instructions; those are the ones that will do just fine because they know what's important to them.

Really good comedians, you know, when they go on stage, they don't really care what the audience - they're fearless, you know? They're so comfortable that they don't care. They don't have that neediness where they need the laughs.

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

Standing on a street corner waiting for no one is power.

[James Bond's qualities of] self-containment, his powers of decision, his ability to carry on through till the end and to survive ... I like to think I acquired them before Bond.

I don't need other people. I don't need help. I can take care of me.

I always had a very strong sense of independence.

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way/ And say I've been getting along/ For long before you came into the play.

Never ask for approval in your work. Life is your own, inspiration is your own, you create alone, and the results are your own - and that's good enough.

I do things my way and I pay a high price.

I have nothing to prove to anyone. I only play for myself.

I'm a big girl, Finn.