Norm MacDonald Quotes

I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.

I eventually became an actor, starting with doing stand-up comedy in New York and then theater wherever they would let me. Finally, I moved out here to Los Angeles and got on a show.

Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.

I had fun doing a lot of low-budget movies and web series. And I got back into stand-up where I started.

Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting. But you can go from acting to being a TV personality to being a radio personality to being a writer to being a producer, to just being a visionary, to voiceover work.

In 1962, we created the Filmmakers' Co-Op because nobody wanted to distribute our films. If we had the Internet in those days, we wouldn't have needed the Co-Op.

One of the things that's funniest about the entertainment industry and comedy is that people go 'Oh, you're great, but I don't know what to do with you.' The great thing about the Internet is that nobody has to figure out what to do with you. You can figure out what to do with you, and you can say, 'I made this thing, and I'm going to put it out, and now if people want to come see me and buy things from me they can.'

Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.

For Joey Bishop, always was kind of the lost soul, so I did a traffic joke.

Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV.

We are still in the very beggining of the Internet. Let's use it wisely.

If your business is not on the Internet, then your business will be out of business.

It was so much fun to have my very first TV (performance) be the holy grail of comedy, in my opinion. I was the guy from CHiPs and then I was Grizzly Adams. It was hysterical. We got to make out. It was really crazy, fun television.

I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

There's so much you can achieve with a launching pad like stand-up comedy. You can literally go from acting to hosting to being a personality.

Having your own show, where you're not in trouble all the time, because you're kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience. If I made mistakes everyone was very nice to me.

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

I've not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn't understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, "This is what I'm doing for sure." I was so excited.

At around 19 I realized that I really didn't have any skills other than making people laugh, so I should probably pursue it full-time.

I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.

Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.

Stand-up is a real art form in itself and one that I really think to be good at you have to devote your entire life to. It's the really, really good ones that end up getting to do the things that I like to do: movies, TV shows, and stuff like that. It's a really hard gig and it just never called to me.

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.