Jennifer Fallon Quotes

One day, when my son was eight, he came into the kitchen while I was cooking and said: 'You put bad words in your books, don't you?' No doubt he had overheard my mother, who often tells people who ask about my work: 'Well, you'll never find her books in the Christian bookstore.'

My kids can't watch ('Howard the Duck'). By the time I get in bed with the duck, they are, like, 'Turn it off, mom. You in bed with a duck is just pretty much a deal breaker.'

My mom [comes] to see my shows because she's so proud, but I'm talking about losing my virginity, my ex-wife and our sexual problems, and she's sitting in the front row smiling. I just go, "Mom, you can't sit in the front row, you can't smile. You have to go way in the back and dress in black. If I see you it's like you're breaking in when I'm having sex with my wife. It's just wrong."

My father had nine children, and when I had my first, he said, 'None of my kids got up in the middle of the night.' And I remember thinking, 'You didn't get up in the middle of the night! Every kid gets up in the middle of the night!'

When you're a parent, you're automatically the most uncool person that exists.

What I continue to learn as a parent is to be mindful of the fact that I am responsible for being the parent that my children need me to be and not necessarily the parent I want to be.

It is not possible for any institutions to interfere in the way parents raise their children.

I think fathers were put on Earth to embarrass their daughters.

Nowadays, you cannot tell your kids what to do. In fact, you have to listen to them. As a parent, give them great education and values and they will decide what to do in life.

I do discuss things with him, but as a father, not a friend.

I wish I had more movies I could watch with my parents and not feel super uncomfortable.

It gets to you as a father when your kids don't react to you in the way you imagine.

Obviously, I'm going to be embarrassing to the kid. There's just no way not. I just hope the kid has a really good sense of humor... My husband's very serious - he doesn't find me funny at all - so I'm hoping the kid is like, 'Mom is hilarious!' That'd be really great.

My problem with my parents growing up was not that I was afraid to cry in front of them - they always wanted me to cry because they wanted me to be okay, but it felt kind of icky and gross to cry in front of my parents. So my problem was the polar opposite - I didn't want to cry in front of them because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

I think there's different parenting styles.

My kids are blissfully unaware of anything I do. I asked my four-year-old, Harrison, what I did, and he said, 'You're an electrician.' He must have seen me changing a lightbulb.

If a parent keeps on saying that, 'my kid is not understanding me at all,' he or she needs to look inside and ask, what wrong am I doing that my child is unable to understand me?

Whatever your age, parents generally embarrass their children. I think that's a role we have to play.

My son told me to stop singing 'Happy Birthday' when he was 4.

My kids still think that, you know, other kids' parents are cooler than I am.

At home, my children make sure that I fall in line and march to their tune.

People forget how the same children brought up with affection, effort, and love are the ones who later kick their parents.

I'm kinda secretive, and I can't even say secretive because of my son. He's the type, like, he doesn't let his friends know who his mom is or his stepdad. He doesn't like me going to his school. If he gets into trouble at school, he's, like, dying. He's very low-key with it. He's always been like that since he was born.

My youngest is 26, and so I hardly remember life not being a father, but my wife and I were hands on-parents.

My mom was always very, very careful with my mind: what I saw and didn't see.