Henny Youngman Quotes

I don't have to wait until the next morning to regret something I did that was kinda dumb.

It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.

How like herrings and onions our vices are in the morning after we have committed them.

We often repent of our first thoughts, and scarce ever of our second.

Some persons do first, think afterward, and then repent forever.

I made a big mistake of my life.

There's no point regretting things. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Life's too short to worry about things I've said.

I've seen too many sunrises, as far as the walk of shame, staying out too late doing very bad things.

Some people never learn, no matter how much their heads hurt in the morning.

You'll be scandalized in the morning when you can think again.

I kept this to remind me of you trying to brush away the Villa Rossa from your teeth in the morning, swearing and eating aspirin and cursing harlots. Every time I see that glass I think of you trying to clean your conscience with a toothbrush.

Repentance follows hasty counsels.

No doing without some ruing.

Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

There's tons of stuff where you're like, "God, I wish I could take that back."

They say night's beauties fade at dawn, and the children of wine are oft disowned in the morning light.

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

Are not half our lives spent in reproaches for foregone actions, of the true nature and consequences of which we were wholly ignorant at the time?

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

Remorse is sorrow over being caught and the pain of consequences that follow. Repentance is not being concerned for ourselves but having a contrite heart.

it is better to act and repent than not to act and regret.

It is the first duty of a gentleman to remember in the morning who he went to bed with the night before.

The older child who has lost or broken some valuable thing will be found when his parents return, not run away, not willing to confess, but in a deep sleep. The thief whose case is being tried falls asleep.

Temptation can be tormenting, but remember: The torment of temptation to sin is nothing to compare with the torment of the consequences of sin. Remorse and regret cannot compensate for sin....though sins can be forgiven immediately - the consequences can last a lifetime

Where error is irreparable, repentance is useless.