Demetri Martin Quotes

All my life I have battled the alarm clock, pummeling the snooze button over and over with mounting self-loathing until the shame is finally strong enough to lever me upright.

Trust me: I do hit the snooze button about 4 times.

I can get ready in five minutes, but getting out of bed takes forever.

I'm a really heavy sleeper. When I wake up I'm a terrible morning person.

I get up with an old-school alarm clock.

Wake up! Time to die!

You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.

I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.

The trouble with an alarm clock is that what seems sensible when you set it seems absurd when it goes off

My parents would have to put the fire hose on me to get me out of bed, to go to school in the morning. They would use a cattle prod and just shock me, or throw boiling water on me, or fire a gun next to my head, to get me out of bed.

I get up extremely early in the morning.

Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.

I'm up at the crack of dawn.

My dog wakes me at 6:30 in the morning, so pretty much, I have to get up.

I would never be about waking up early and do morning radio and TV back to back had I not been in the military, where they are throwing a garbage can in the middle of my squad bed at 5 o'clock in the morning for four years straight.

I'm the worst night owl, because I'm a self-loathing night owl who thinks, 'No, I should be getting up early.' It feels unproductive. I must get over that.

I set my alarm for 7:30 A.M., but it's really hard for me to wake up in the mornings.

I get up at 6:17 in the morning. I've timed it perfectly.

I'm that person: I will literally do everything to not get out of bed, so I have alarms set for every 15 minutes.

When I wake up in the morning, I just go.

I'm not used to waking up early at all.

If you in the morning Throw minutes away, You can't pick them up In the course of a day. You may hurry and scurry, And flurry and worry, You've lost them forever, Forever and aye.

I wish I had a typical workday. I struggle to get up at seven and almost always fail. I just try to get to my office as soon as I can, but it's always later than I would like.

The zipper displaces the button and a man lacks just that much time to think while dressing at dawn, a philosophical hour, and thus a melancholy hour.

As the day goes on you get more and more tired. Even if people say they're afternoon people or evening people, it's always best to start out first thing in the morning with your most important task as opposed to your email, phone calls, or checking the internet. If you start out with that then basically you'll just do that all day long.