Amy Sedaris Quotes

Says the rude child: "No, I won't do it." Says the courteous grown-up: "Yes, I won't do it.

I have no small talk and Peel has no manners.

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

I think the sort of person you want at a party is someone who is self-aware, polite and has a basic knowledge of table manners. And that goes for both men and women.

When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.

Wit sometimes enables us to act rudely with impunity.

I prefer to leave standing up, like a well-mannered guest at a party.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. "It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!

I am put on my best behavior, which means the same thing as the most uncomfortable behavior.

People who type with their iPhones on loud are barbarians and probably killers.

I'm just a swell guy. No, that's a ridiculous notion - if you're being an asshole to people, you're being an asshole, that's all there is to it. It can't be rationalized because you wrote something worthwhile. First obligation is to other people.

A good rule of conversation is never answer a foolish question.

To be rude is as good as being clever.

Don’t talk like that, Dill,” said Aunt Alexandra. “It’s not becoming to a child. It’s – cynical.” “I ain’t cynical, Miss Alexandra. Tellin’ the truth’s not cynical, is it?” “The way you tell it, it is.

In proceeding to the dining-room, the gentleman gives one arm to the lady he escorts--it is unusual to offer both.

BE QUIET!!...What do you want...? I was in the middle of saying something nice.

If you are going to be rude, be quick about it.

Small children do not belong at an adult party, and especially should not be used like trained midgets to help serve martinis.

A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.

Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man.

If it is a cocktail party, I think bringing your partner, husband or wife is fine. To a certain extent, when someone throws a party, they expect to have people over. If it's a seated dinner, though, you should check beforehand. Asking to bring your partner is fair. Asking to bring eight friends from college is not. A good hostess will always accommodate extras and stragglers, but she'll never forget who brought them.

Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.

The civilities of the great are never thrown away.

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose, keep in touch (or don't), care about birthdays, waste and lose time, brush their teeth, feel nostalgia, scrub stains, have religions and political parties and laws, wear keepsakes, apologize years after an offense, whisper, fear themselves, interpret dreams, hide their genitalia, shave, bury time capsules, and can choose not to eat something for reasons of conscience. The justifications for eating animals and for not eating them are often identical: we are not them.