Eugene Mirman Quotes

I'm really good at pretending.

If you're living two lives and you're lying to everyone, you're bound to slip up, in some way, you're bound to get something wrong, and you're bound to get found out.

All you need to know is that I have an old enemy pretending to be me. (Acheron) Why? (Talon) Well, it obviously isn’t to be nice to me and win over my friends, now is it? (Acheron)

Lord Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years, but we don't choose to have it known.

All words are masks and the lovelier they are, the more they are meant to conceal.

When you put on a clown suit and a rubber nose, nobody has any idea what you look like inside.

Masks are what they seem to be; not so the faces beneath them.

Hide not thy poison with such sugar'd words

An item that looks perfectly normal on the surface might only be disguised.

Every profound spirit needs a mask.

If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.

Most people who have told a lie think they got away with it … when in fact, they didn’t

The trouble with a mask is it never changes

Everyone has something to hide. And if they couldn't hide it the world would be in a lot worse mess than it is.

By now, the camouflage had become my skin. My friends wouldn't want to know. Who would want to know? I certainly didn't want to know. All I wanted was to hold my assumptions to the light, and to watch them sparkle in their facets, as all sham gemstones do.

Trying to conceal a crime is like burying a seed in the ground.

Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide.

We cannot come to honour under Coverlet.

Truth is for tailors and shoemakers. I, on the contrary, have always held that the Lord has a penchant for masquerades.

Everyone has a story; everyone hides his past as a means of self-preservation. Some just do it better, and more thoroughly, than others.

I am sorry I didn’t tell you the truth before. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. You kept asking about Romeo and what he was really like. I was hoping that”—he smiled wistfully—“you would recognize me.

Knavery's plain face is never seen till used.

Whether he likes it or not, [he] cannot remain incognito forever. He has outraged too many wise men and pleased too many fools to hide behind his too-appropriate order to assume leadership of the forces of stupidity he has marshalled, or his enemies will unmask him in order to better understand the disease that has produced such a warped and twisted mind.

As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.

Time shall unfold what plaited cunning hides: Who cover faults, at last shame them derides.