Oscar Wilde Quotes

The only way to atone for being occasionally overdressed is to be massively overeducated.

Because I've never had any higher education of any sort, I've never held in awe those who have had it or have a sense of superiority over those who don't.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I look at old performance videos now, and it's really funny - I thought I was such a gangster!

I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny.

People don't expect me to be as funny as I am.

I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.

In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I hate to be smart.

Never say 'I went to Harvard.' Say 'I schooled in the Boston area.'

Sometimes I think I'm funny. But then sometimes I see myself, and I think, 'There's somebody trying to be funny.'

Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of.

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

I had been an academic all my life. As academics, you tend to believe the smartest people are in academia.

I'm not saying that I don't like the stuff I put out into the world, because I genuinely enjoy my videos and think they are funny. What I'm saying is that I embrace the fact that I have a punchable face, and that if I could punch myself without feeling it, I would.

My worst subject in school was school, but it turns out I'm great at starting them.