Mitch Hedberg Quotes

If you hear the question wrong, you will answer wrong.

I think I get misinterpreted and misunderstood a lot.

How was I to know? ... You didn't say anything.""I said lots of things," he corrected gently. "You just didn't hear them.

i can't understand her" well son, you might as well try to understand the sun". derived form the book:fires of heaven by robert jordan.

I asked you, baby, If you understood- You told me that you didn't, But you thought you would.

If we go on explaining we shall cease to understand one another.

I'm responsible for what I say, but I'm not responsible about how people interpret my situation.

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.

It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.

I never quite know if what I do will be understood.

Sometimes it's okay for an audience not to understand everything that's going on.

one does not only wish to be understood when one writes; one wishes just as surely not to be understood.

If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.

Interpretation blocks reception while masquerading as reception. Rightness does not need interpretation; it requires simple acceptance and nothing else.

James - "Are you paying attention or just trying to make me look like an idoit?" Elizabeth - "Oh, I'm definately paying attention. If you look like an idiot it has nothing to do with me.

It is not fair to treat as serious that which is only said in joke.

Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know." "Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!

There's no more usual basis of union than mutual misunderstanding.

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible, but that alone doesn't make it true.

I wrote a letter to my Dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it, so I wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, Dad - there's a lot of stuff you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away.

It was strange how you could never form any conclusion from what women said. It was not that they did not know what they were talking about, but you never drew the right conclusions.

I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it's all this.