Stephen King Quotes

Bartending took the romanticism out of drinking.

Of course many bars in Manhasset, like bars everywhere, were nasty places, full of pickled people marinating in regret.

The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like.

My problem is people seem to laugh at me, but the one that laughs harder than anybody is me.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right.

Drinking is the joy of the Russes. We cannot live without that pleasure

I used to go to the saloons with the baseball players, and while they would drink highballs and gin fizzes and beer, I would take lemonade

If I were to die today, I would be nervous about what people would say at my funeral. I would be happy if they said things like, 'He was a nice guy' or, 'He was occasionally decent' or, 'Mike wasn't as bad as a lot of people.'

With my humor, I end up offending everybody!

The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is when people that do drink, don't drink around me.

Earnestness makes British people gag.

Sometimes people go into my business because they like to drink, which - that's insane.

Like, I feel like I'm funny, despite the fact that I keep getting rejected by people less funny than me.

Drinking is another way of thinking, another way of living. It gives you two lives instead of one.

I wasn't a falling-in-the-gutter type. I drank at home because it relaxed me. I was shy around new people, but after a drink or two, I became more sociable.

God,” I moaned. “Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?” “No one made you keep drinking it.” “Hey, don’t get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite.” “Sure,” she said.

It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.

Other countries drink to get drunk, and this is accepted by everyone; in France, drunkenness is a consequence, never an intention. A drink is felt as the spinning out of a pleasure, not as the necessary cause of an effect which is sought: wine is not only a philtre, it is also the leisurely act of drinking.

What’s wrong with just talking? Isn’t that why bars were invented? So you could talk to somebody over a drink—as opposed to sitting at home alone getting sloshed?

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.