Jon Scieszka Quotes

I once attended a birthday party where Danny Kaye dropped in to entertain the birthday boy and his guests; I was sometimes taken for lunch on Saturdays by my father to The Brown Derby; and my favorite meal is still the Cobb salad in the Polo Lounge of the Beverly Hills Hotel.

If I could go back and tell 13-year-old self that I would be on screen with Lisa Kudrow, spending my birthday on a ghost train in Blackpool with her, I would have been beside myself.

Being in the bands of a hurricane, it's not like a tornado that's going to pass very quickly. It's the most serious thing that you will ever experience next to, I'm sure, an earthquake.

We was going to get you a birthday cake, but we figured you'd drop it.

I'll speak in a monstrous little voice.

This world of the imagination is fancy-free and violently opposed to common sense.

Happy birthday to former First Lady Barbara Bush, who turned seventy-seven this week. Unfortunately, where her granddaughters helped blow out the candles on her cake, it exploded.

In the faculty of writing nonsense, stupidity is no match for genius.

He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

I'm lost in the middle of my birthday. I want my friends, their touch, with the earth's last love. I will take life's final offering, I will take the last human blessing.

My birthday began with the water - Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my name.

Happy Birthday, Mr Presidenttttt

I want to express my closeness to the people of the Philippines who have been struck by a strong earthquake, and I invite you to pray for that dear nation, which in recent days has suffered different calamities.

Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing.

A man like me cannot but believe that this earthquake is a divine chastisement sent by God for our sins.

No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It's like arguing about earthquakes.

I don't do things that are comedic. This is such a crazy idea.

An earthquake is such fun when it is over.

It takes an earthquake to remind us that we walk on the crust of an unfinished planet.

I cannot help thinking that it is more natural to have flowers grow out of the head than fruit.

Through the shake of an earthquake I will never fall. That’s how strong my love is.

Bring something incomprehensible into the world!

Julian spoke with the clear, unequivocal lucidity of madmen who have escaped the hypocrisy of having to abide by a reality that makes no sense.

If you had chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?