Penn Jillette Quotes

When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

And as they pass, turn back and laugh at me.

It was dripping and, you know, and there was a whole line of cameras and microphones. I felt like - you remember the honor guards, only it was a dishonor guard.

I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

Making a fool out of yourself and putting it on the Internet is one of the best bonding experiences you could have.

People don't mind being mean; but they never want to be ridiculous.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Anne hated the idea of putting me down in front of the audience.

Ridicule dishonors a man more than dishonor does.

Shorts are silly. Men in shorts are silly men. And silly is the very worst thing a man can be.

I don't want to end up being some joke on a bad TV series.

So you go on and on, with this intellectual fly down, your underwear exposed, and toilette paper hanging out the back of your pants.

If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

O the shame of it, the humiliating shame of being condescended to by dolts

There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?

Awkwardness is a more real disadvantage than it is generally thought to be; it often occasions ridicule, it always lessens dignity.

I never did like the idea of sitting on newspapers. I did it once, and all the headlines came off on my white pants. On the level! It actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and read the news on the seat of my pants.

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

Ridicule is often harder to bear than self-denial.

I would rather a sex tape make its way out than a video of me doing all of the different grunt sounds. I'm not eager for a sex tape to leak, but in terms of personal humiliation, I'd feel less vulnerable to be in a Kim Kardashian situation than seeing myself grunting in a booth.

Shut up and let me see your jazz hands.

I started lip-synching with "Losing My Religion." There were a few horrendous mistakes we made, but I own those mistakes. I'm embarrassed by them. I always say when I look back at anything I've ever done, it's with equal dollops of humiliation and triumphant glory.

I almost shat my pants. Literally, the floor was almost covered in my shat.

The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.