Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I'm very English. I'm white. I mean, I'm so pale. With spray tans they start peeling and start getting really dirty looking.

I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice.

I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'

I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.

Comedy is only funny when there's real pain.

I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.

There's not many comedy characters that make me laugh as much as The Rock does; it's nice to have a big muscly guy being funny and stupid.

I like Colbert because he's funny, and he's cool. He knows how to have fun and doesn't stick his nose up to Fox.

I think mockumentaries are such well-trodden grounds for comedies. It has been done a lot, but it is because of that informal nature, it's such a fertile ground to be funny.

If you like dry humor, Henrik Stenson thinks he's very funny, but I think I'm very funny in a dry sense as well.

The thing is, I was never really a comedian - a comedian would scoff at the notion of me as a comedian because I've never done anything, really. I've always just been some guy who's funny.

The whole point of real comedy is that you can say something that is true, and by being funny, you can make it tolerable for people, and hopefully they'll laugh at you, too.

The whole character of Super Dave is a takeoff on people who pontificate. So one thing I never want to do is pontificate why this works, why this is funny. I have no idea what the appeal is. All we are trying to do is make people have a good time and laugh.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?