Michael Ian Black Quotes

Life is an aggregate of experience, which continually surprises us.

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.

The older I get, the more I'm surprised with life. Things don't end up the way you think they will. Unbelievable and unimaginable things do happen, and then you figure out if you'll be able to step up to the plate or not.

The future has never been something that I've been able to plan. Every time I try - I don't care if it's three or four days ahead or a week ahead - it just doesn't pan out.

Things never pass where you think, nor along the paths you think

There will be ups, there will be downs, there will be sideways. I can just tell you I have been hired, I have been fired, I have been lauded, I have been vilified. I've said some of the most brilliant things that just by accident appeared on my tongue, and I've said some of the dumbest things that you could imagine. But each day - even the day that I knew I was going to be fired - I looked forward to because I've always believed that tomorrow was going to be the best day of my life.

But,instead of what our imagination makes us suppose and which we worthless try to discover,life gives us something that we could hardly imagine.

I think I'm scared a lot. I'm scared of almost everything. And I'm constantly trying to work my way through each obstacle, whether it's a present, past, or future relationship.

My life has not been predictable. I never would have imagined I'd be living where I'm living, doing what I'm doing or married to an American guy. I'm interested to see what will happen next!

Life was mostly made up of things you couldn’t control, full of surprises, and they weren’t always good. Life wasn’t what you made it. You were what life made you.

You never know how diverse your career can be. I think it's wonderful. My life has always been the next page, not the last page.

Interestingly, when you do films, sometimes you have conscious reasons, things that you were looking for, or stuff that you were trying to do. And then, you see the film and you think, "Wow, it ended up being something totally different!"

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep growing. Before you know it, you look back and think, "What was that?"

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Have a baby, and you realize: The second you think you got sh-t figured out, you don't. It's the greatest wake-up call.

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

Sometimes life is so crazy, you have to go through something to be able to find out what you're supposed to talk about next, and I think that's what happened to me.

I don't think I've had a rocky love life. I'm just trying to figure out what I want.

I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.

You're learning things. As you get older, you're experiencing them. You learn about what it means to be sacrificial. Then, you get married or something like that and you think, "Oh, wow! This is the real deal."

Things are never going to turn out how you think they will.

You know, the process, I think, is the story. And it goes back, again, to what I said about chance and about radical contingency, the idea that all of this is this well-oiled machine that's been reared up and, like, really articulated and thought about.

Life is amazingly unpredictable; any 22-year-old who thinks they know where they will be in 10 years, much less in 30, is simply lacking imagination.

Be a football to Time and Chance, the more kicks, the better, so that you inspect the whole game and know its utmost law.