Jeffrey Tambor Quotes

All stealing is comparative. If you come to absolutes, pray who does not steal.

If you steal, do not steal too much at a time. You may be arrested. Steal cleverly, little by little.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

When the girl sitting at the next table looked away from a moment, Dirk leaned over and took her coffee. He knew that he was perfectly safe doing this because she would simply not be able to believe that this had happened.

If you're a drug addict, often you're stealing - I've gotten done for shoplifting a few times.

Men kill for many reasons, they steal but for one-greed.

I'm as wicked as Hitler's first born, cause of me, lot of old ladies purses gone.

I'm the guy who happened to be home the night Kat came to steal a Monet."- Hale

Wait. Far be it for me to say this" — Hamish looked around the compartment — "and if anyone tells Uncle Eddie I suggested being an upstanding citizen I'll kill 'em, but aren't there...laws and stuff? I mean, can't you...you know...sue him or something?" asked the boy who had once stolen an entire circus, all three rings.

There is no corruption but mere stealing in Nigeria.

I shouldn't steal in this world.

I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence.

I had these couple of hippie guy friends who were super broke and living in the attic of somebody's house and they were like, "We don't have any food, man." And so I decided to go to the grocery store and steal chicken pot pie. And I stuck it inside my clothes. I took a couple frozen chicken pot pies and stuck them inside my pants, and I got caught walking out of the store. And they took me in the back room, and - luckily, I was 14, but I had a fake ID saying I was 18, so they didn't call my parents.

I once knew a man who stole a Ferris Wheel.

To England will I steal, and there I'll steal.

Took flowers from a hearse, romanced a nurse. Put the girl asleep, then I went through her purse.

...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?" "That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. "You were here to rob me!" "No, I wasn't. How dare you?!

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

The trick is to steal big.

How'd you get in here?" She raised her eyebrows. “You pick pockets.” Kat watched his hand fly to his back pocket. “I can pick locks. Looking for this?” she asked, holding up his wallet. “Oops. Maybe I can pick pockets too.

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

Where there's property, there's theft.

He that steals the old man's supper does him no wrong.

Just remember, stealing's punishable by death

One was a book thief. The other stole the sky.