Slavoj Zizek Quotes

A halo surrounded the grim reaper nun, Sister Maria. (By the way-I like this human idea of the grim reaper. I like the scythe. It amuses me.)

Surprise me! Yogi's reply when he was asked by his wife, Carmen, where he would like to be buried

I am his awfully-wedded wife.

But don't blame me for the food. My wife knows a hundred and one ways to incinerate a cow, and as far as I can tell she's still experimenting.

When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife.

Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!

I've married a friggin horse. And he bites.

I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.

This is the way the world really ends: not with whimper but a desperate chuckle.

Kate had never been married, so she had no way of knowing if I was a normal husband. This has been good for our marriage.

She paused. That's just my way of saying I would've killed you if you'd died.

Maybe you'll get lucky." I said bleakly, lurching on my feet. "Maybe I'll get hit by a truck on my way back.

The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

The critics say that Shostakovich's Fourth Symphony has no form. They are wrong; it has the form of Shostakovich's Fourth Symphony.

I don't do anything or have any magical secret or something, other than drinking baby's blood, of course.

When you're told there's no way you can marry the woman you love and your only hope of being near her is to marry her sister, wouldn't you do the same?

You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding.

Everything is going to hell, but we should smile all the way.

Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.

I'm going out with these old guys. One guy gave me a hickey and left his teeth in my neck. Another man, we were having a perfectly lovely dinner; he looked up and me and went: You're not my wife! Another guy died during dinner. I had to go in his pocket to get the American Express card. Then you wonder: What would he tip? Another guy said: I want you to meet my family, and took me to the cemetery.

Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.

Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.

The only way to cope with something deadly serious is to try to treat it a little lightly.