Dave Barry Quotes

In an election, one needs both hope and audacity.

If I want to run for president, you'll be able to tell.

... as long as there is no chance of my being elected Vice President.

It only takes one vote to win the Vice Presidential nomination.

I got all the applause, but McKinley got the votes.

The first-in-the-nation Iowa caucus is crucial for every presidential campaign.

The realities are, there are - you can be entertaining and you can be fun, and you can say things that actually appeal to people. You still have to figure out a way to get to 270 electoral votes. Get votes in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.

I ran for the electoral college. I didn't run for the popular vote.

I ran for the presidency, despite hopeless odds, to demonstrate the sheer will and refusal to accept the status quo.

Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.

For somebody who's never run for office before, Donald Trump understands that old axiom, "Define yourself before you're defined."

What if he says [Donald Trump] plans to run again in 2020?

Jimmy used to drink liquor. Now he's running for president and he drinks Scotch, and I've never trusted a Scotch-drinker.

I feel like I could run for President. People often laugh, but if I set my mind to it, within the next 15 years I could be in the White House.

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.

When Al Gore picked Joe Lieberman to be his running mate in the 2000 presidential campaign, Eszterhas wrote "Joe Lieberman frightens me. Why should we, an Hollywood voter, donate money to a man who threatens our creative freedom, our freedom of expression."

It's starting to look like Donald Trump may be a serious presidential candidate. If you're in my line of work, Trump running for president for real is the greatest thing that has ever happened.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

I needed a vacation. I needed 5 women. I needed to get the wax out of my ears. My car needed an oil change. I'd failed to file my damned income tax. One of the stems had broken off of my reading glasses. There were ants in my apartment. I needed to get my teeth cleaned. My shoes were run down at the heels. I had insomnia. My auto insurance had expired. I cut myself every time i shaved. I hadn't laughed in 6 years. I tended to worry when there was nothing to worry about. And when there was something to worry about, i got drunk.

I had the great privilege in 2011 and 2012 of learning a lot about what it takes to run for the presidency of the United States. It is one of the greatest challenges that any human being could take upon themselves.

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

I'm not running my campaign for the press. I'm running it for voters. I totally respect the press and what the press has to do.

It's much more fun to run a political campaign than it is to be the candidate.

Running for office is the least aerobic of the socially interactive sports.

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.