Vicky Hartzler Quotes

There was some indecision as to when I was born. My sister said it was 1916. I'd lost my birth certificate.

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate's name.

So I had all the names, three names, and that's good to have on a soap.

I absolutely refuse to reveal my age. What am I - a car?

Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.

I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir' Ridcully sighed. 'Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would you like another try?' 'Permission to go and find my mother?'

His eldest sister (who modestly prefers to be identified here as a Tuckahoe homemaker) has asked me to describe him as looking like 'the blue-eyed Jewish-Irish Mohican scout who died in your arms at the roulette table at Monte Carlo.

Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.

I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid.

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

You sure you're not a Roman, Annabeth? Or an Amazon?

My name is immaterial,' she said. That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.

Don't be careful. You could hurt yourself.

Yes, I'm the real Sammy Sosa, and this is my Pinterest.

There are few things in life that are harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.

The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.

How long have you been a Wiccan?' 'A what?' 'A pagan. A witch.' 'I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.' Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?' 'Wizard has a Z' He looked at me blankly. 'No one appreciates me.' I muttered.

From now on when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I planned to say, Amnesiac.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

I have no accurate knowledge of my age, never having seen any authentic record containing it.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

Union Rule 26: Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity or rank odor.

Madame Lily Devalier always asked "Where are you?" in a way that insinuated that there were only two places on earth one could be: New Orleans and somewhere ridiculous.