Helen Fielding Quotes

I come from Yorkshire in England where we like to eat chip sandwiches - white bread, butter, tomato ketchup and big fat french fries cooked in beef dripping.

I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Cows, after leaving the low lands near the coast, are found to be plentiful everywhere, and to produce milk in small quantities, from which butter is made.

I couldn't really take a girl from Berlin to live in Leeds. I love it here. I miss the Yorkshire sense of humor and things like bitter and Yorkshire puddings, but I can still get my hands on salt 'n' vinegar crisps.

When I'm on a strict eating regimen, at some point I have to have French fries, a cheeseburger and some pizza. And Oreos and vanilla ice cream!

My food demons are Chinese food, sugar, butter.

In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not.

It's funny - my wife is more jealous of my books than of other women because I'm always working and thinking about my books.

I'm a simple cook, and there's a lot I don't eat. But food is important. It translates so easily into pleasure.

It's a funny thing: people often ask how I discipline myself to write. I can't begin to understand the question. For me, the discipline is turning off the computer and leaving my desk to do something else.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Food from Quebec is not known to be amazing. Actually, even though you can eat really, really well in Montreal, it's crazy. It's one of the best cities I eat in, but typical Quebec food is like food from people that work in the woods. It's potatoes, meat and sauce.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

There is something really horrific for any human being who feels he is being consumed by other people. I'm talking about a writer's critics, who don't address what you've written, but want to probe into your existence and magnify the trivia of your life without any sense of humor, without any sense of context.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

I'm not a fussy eater, but when I'm travelling, I try to stick to the same regime and just have my chicken and my mash and broccoli. Otherwise, you start eating all these funny delicacies, and it makes your tummy turn upside down.

My greatest regret as a writer is that I've never been able to include as many jokes as I'd like.

Everyone prefers some foods over others, but some adults take this tendency to an extreme. These people tend to prefer the kinds of bland food they may have enjoyed as children - such as plain or buttered pasta, macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza, French fries and grilled cheese sandwiches - and to restrict their eating to just a few dishes.

Certain foods no longer agree with me. If I eat French fries, I might feel sick to my stomach.

I like to eat yogurt in the morning. It's easy and quick and available anywhere.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

I bought some pork chops and told the butcher to make them lean. He said, 'Which way?'

I had to give up a lot of foods that I'm accustomed to eating: dairy products, beer, wine, spicy food.