Demetri Martin Quotes

In suggesting gifts: Money is appropriate, and one size fits all.

It's not about how big or expensive a present is, it's the thought that is so nice.

If I give someone flowers, what will they really do with it. If I take food, the person could be diabetic... But books are a source of knowledge, I have great thirst for knowledge.

Here," she said. "This is for you." "I didn't really get you anything," I sputtered. "I mean, I didn't know that you were going to be here, and--" "Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.

I got £25. My friends all gave me £5. It was a very thoughtful present.

I treat people throughout the year, my mates with children, every time I see them I give them 40 quid, or I go to Amazon and get them a gift- no one goes without.

When you're going to meet your man's mom and dad, it's always nice to bring them something homemade and from the heart.

Back in Israel, I would spend much effort and plenty of money on presents when I went abroad, even if it was only for two days.

I absolutely adore Christmas.

I am the guilty gift-giver, which means that I am a gift-giver who lacks all sense of proportion.

The world thinks eccentricity in great things is genius, but in small things, only crazy.

A gift much expected is paid, not given.

Hee that gives thee a bone, would not have thee die.

The gift from my Secret Santa wasn't anything special. That makes me sad. I bet you anything that Mary Elizabeth is my Secret Santa because only she would give me socks.

You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are by the earrings he gives you.

Not what we give, but what we share, for the gift without the giver is bare.

A great deal has been written about the forthrightness of the moderns shocking the Victorians, but there is no shock like the one which the forthrightness of the Victorians can give a modern.

A kind word will give more pleasure than a present.

If you think this is weird, just look at yourselves.

It may well be that a societys greatest madness seems normal to itself.

The conception of what is normal varies not only with the culture but also within the same culture, in the course of time.

My favorite characters are people who think they're normal but they're not. I live in Baltimore, and it's full of people like that. I've also lived in New York, which is full of people who think they're crazy, but they're completely normal.

From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

I don't think anyone's normal.