Al Franken Quotes

I don't think I'm a very good businessman. I act too much with my heart.

People complain that joking about serious subjects is 'making light' of them. Isn't that a good idea? Comedy lets the air out of the bully's tires.

I signed contracts I didn't think were a good idea but people around me said it was the way forward. It saddens me that I'll never own my first album ever, which sucks.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

I'd feel guilty just doing gags.

I did a lot of things that I regretted and I certainly paid for my mistakes. You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn't until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don't have a problem going to sleep at night.

'The Dictator' lands somewhere between wan Mel Brooks and good Adam Sandler, whose 'You Don't Mess With the Zohan,' about an Israeli Special Forces soldier at a hair salon, manages to strike better contrasts with vaguely similar culture differences - it's a nuttier movie, too.

Sure, I am funny and have a good sense of humor. Mostly, though, I just tell the truth. The internal dialogue people have in their heads - I just write it.

Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn't been a satirist or a political satirist who's done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign. But I think it's a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.

As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of your life, you know the value of a good joke.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

We can all be self-destructive. I make terrible choices all the time. It's uncomfortable to admit that you did a thing that was selfish and that you knew would hurt someone else.

Nothing is off-limits. There's just some things I cannot crack. Politics I can't do. When I start to talk about it, I just get really angry and super sincere. I have never found a way to craft all of that absurdity into funny.

We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.

People know I'm smart. And people know that, whether it's SNL or Jimmy Kimmel, it's a trend to take the piss out of celebrity -- just as much of a trend as wearing a gray hoodie or driving a Prius.

Alas,we who wanted kindness, could not be kind ourselves.

I wanted the monster back and that was plainly wrong.

Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.'

I have learned that in a long life we all eventually play the part of the betrayed, and we all eventually play the part of the betrayer, and neither is pleasant because both roles involve pain, inflicting or absorbing it.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

On my way out I was even going to shake his hand, but I remembered just in time that I'd killed a man.

To say that we have a clear conscience is to utter a solecism; had we never sinned we should have had no conscience. Were defeat unknown, neither would victory be celebrated by songs of triumph.

It's a fun movie Death Note. Despite the fact that it's about killing people, it's even comical. But, there is an underlying message. I think we're in a place right now where everyone is really frustrated, and there's a lot of hate in the world and a lot of bullies and bigotry. Having the opportunity to get rid of that would be amazing. I wish that I could write down a whole concept, rather than a specific name. Rather than kill somebody, I'd like to write down "evil" in the notebook. That would be fantastic!