Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I love Bill Clinton. I think we should make him king. I'm talking the red robe, the turkey leg - everything.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Every chair should be a throne and hold a king.

That might sound shocking to some - and don't worry, I don't see myself as a king.

A throne is only a bench covered with velvet.

Her Majesty

MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

It's great to be queen!

I'm never sure how to rank these things, but I will say that it has been a dream of mine ever since I was a kid to play for the Queen of England. Preferably in the throne room.

Could I imagine myself as king? Of course I could.

I'm the king of L.A.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Princess." He smiled up at me, but it was weak. "If i'd known that this is what it would take to get you to hold me, I would've collapsed a long time ago.

the title of Queen rang sweet to my ears, child though I was. ... This idea of a crown began running in my head then like a tune, and has been running a lot in it ever since.

The country of Britain is wonderful because of its royalty.

I think it would be nice to be a prince.

A family on the throne is an interesting idea.... It brings down the pride of sovereignty to the level of petty life.

God save the king!

Believe me, James, no one will murder me to make you king.

Counsel passes all things to him which thinketh to be a king.

I have no right to be a king, but I have the right to create a king.

I frequently dream of having tea with the Queen.

There will only ever be one Prince.

The first thing I said if I sat on the Iron Throne would probably be, 'Ouch!' It's actually painful because it's made of swords. But my first Royal Edict would be, 'Somebody get rid of this damn chair!'

I can't believe I've met the royal family. It's, like, one of those things you never expect to do in your life.