Whitney Cummings Quotes

I feel like I'm kind of faking something if I'm talking as myself and putting on an accent.

When you're pretending to be something you're not, at least for me, you end up falling on your face.

In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something about acting like I don't care, or if I act like I haven't spent enough time on it, it seems to go better. If I act like I'm really trying to sell it, it doesn't go as well.

I didn't think I could be my imperfect self. I pretended I was Marcia, so I was always playing this role. I became her, but yet I wasn't. It's strange.

That's part of the curse: If you're gonna play the song, you better play it. I've tried to phone in 'Jeremy' a few times, and it's tough. It doesn't work.

It's the misfortune of German authors that not a single one of them dares to expose his true character. Everyone thinks that he has to be better than he is.

A woman in show business isn't honest with herself... so how can she be honest with another woman? We are, all of us, acting every minute of the day and night.

I could never just play in a pub in front of four people because I would have had all the press turn up. That way, you don't get to build up naturally. It makes the work feel unnatural, and puts a lot of unnatural pressure on you.

I would often get called in to play a very loud, obnoxious - which, truth be told, I can be loud and obnoxious. My issue was when it was like a ghetto girl; I didn't think I was good at it; I didn't feel authentic. And so I had insecurities about going in on it.

I feel like every time I walk into the audition room, they can tell if you're faking it and if your heart's really not with it. So I try to keep it as real as possible.

Play as well as you can; that's it, as opposed to creating these odd paranoias, trying to be something you're not.

I didn't realize that pretending to be this 'Hills Heidi,' this spoiled rich girl who I wasn't, would almost destroy me.

Still when I go on talk shows, I worry that I have to live up to a comedic persona.

I just can't get used to the idea of being somebody unreal in people's minds. I can't live my life like that. And it's just anathema to being a writer. It's not healthy.

For the first six months of my stand-up career, I was talking like Danny Dyer. I was doing a lot of 'alright guvnors?' It wasn't true to who I was.

I do feel pressure from the outside world a little bit just because everybody wants new music, which is really nice. It just proves that everybody likes what I'm doing. But at the same time, I feel like it's important to just chill and experience things and really make the songs true to me.

I always wanted to be a Broadway girl. But once I got Tony-nominated, it really messed with me, because it was like, yes, I'm getting this affirmation that you're right where you're supposed to be, but there was still this voice saying, 'You're not good enough.'

I'm happier on the runway than I am on the red carpet. Because then I am not being myself. I think, on the red carpet, it's a weird, like, 'Who am I? Am I me? Am I them?'

I'm not very good at being a performing monkey.

Directing is more comfortable for me because, as an actor, there's always something inherently false. Because I'm not that person.

People make the mistake of thinking they've got to perform just because someone has said something about their potential.

To carry a false persona is an extra burden. Who needs that?

At home in my room, I'm funny, but if I'm commissioned to be that, I don't feel very funny.

I always kind of struggled a little bit with being captain sometimes, because sometimes you feel like you have to be someone that you're not.

Whether it's writing songs, being on stage, being interviewed, meeting fans - I just try to be myself, which is kind of exhausting because it almost feels like it never shuts off.