Bella Thorne Quotes

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

The best shows to tweet about are the ones that are hilarious, but they might not necessarily be trying to be hilarious. Those are the easiest and the funniest because you're like 'come onnnn.'

Every day, there's something that makes you go, 'Is this Funny or Die?' That can't be a real headline.

I find it really appalling when people talk about comedy.

I actually don't mind viral trends. I think most of them are inexplicably really funny.

The musical is amazing. i mean,i don't throw around that word very often unless im talking about myself. Being humble is one of my many fine qualities. IGN Interview May 2009

I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich?" See? That was funny.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

How are the eyes?' 'Oh, excellent,' he said. 'I mean, they're not in my head is the only problem.

I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."

Yes, I'm the real Sammy Sosa, and this is my Pinterest.

A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.

Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost. Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.

Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, 'I ate waffles for breakfast!' That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.

I tell very mean jokes.

My friend asked me I ever swam with dolphins. I was like, 'Yeah, of course. What distance are we talking about from the dolphins? Because the last time I was in the ocean, I'm pretty sure I swam with most of them.'

On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.

We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

The s - t I put on Instagram, in a lot of ways, I'm making fun of what it actually is. Some of the things I put on there are absolutely ridiculous because parts of my life are absolutely ridiculous.

For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern.

I mean, I am pretty fabulous. Am I not?' 'You're a pillar of fabulosity in the community,' I tell him.

Humor is just truth, only faster!