Dane Cook Quotes

Plots are for dead people.

Shocking writing is like murder: the questions the jury must decide are the questions of motive and intent.

I believe the question now is: who murdered my mother?

I have to know the killer, the victim and the motive when I begin. Then I start to create the characters and see how the novel takes shape based on what these people are like.

If I desired to kill the senator why did I not do it? You all admit that I had him in my power.

While 'Visitation Street' has the markings of a traditional whodunnit mystery - starting with a missing girl, intrigue and many suspicious characters - Pochoda shows her hand early on by fingering a culprit. The book turns, then, into a 'whydunnit.'

No person employed by or acting on behalf of the United States Government shall engage in, or conspire to engage in, assassination.

My one wish before I die is to talk to Bremer. I want to find out who he did it for. He did it for somebody else.

I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it.

Can we get back to how we’re going to kill Nick? And what’s this about a dead body? You’d better start talking quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m not going to play hide-and-seek with a dead guy in my trunk. I did that in college, and I’m not going to do it again.” A smile quirked Ivy’s mouth. “Really?” she asked, and I flushed.

Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

The guilty is he who meditates a crime; the punishment is his who lays the plot.

I've bought the same used car from the same man since I was 16 - a Buick every time. They always work, I don't care what color it is. I don't want people to recognize my car in case I want to commit a crime.

If you die of pneumonia,I'm pretty sure there are at least a dozen guys who'll try to kill me and make it look like an accident (Hale)

Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would’ve done everyone a favor. . . .

75%-90% of the murders that occur in black and Latino communities are solvable. Everybody knows who did it or somebody knows. The reason nobody talks is because snitches get stitches and people aren't bulletproof.

it is not the deed but the intention that makes the crime.

I didn't want murder. It's all gone wrong.

One of us in this very room is in fact the murderer.

It is an outrage that people can take other people's lives when they obviously haven't got their own lives in order.

Hammett gave murder back to the kind of people that commit it for reasons, not just to provide a corpse; and with the means at hand, not hand-wrought dueling pistols, curare and tropical fish.

After further introductions were made, we settled in the family room. Yes, the living room would have been nicer, but I wanted comfortable surroundings while plotting to murder one famed historical figure with another one. ~Cat

You can put a murderer in a suit, and hes still a murderer.

Everything has to do with murder.