Joel McHale Quotes

Cheating in school is a form of self-deception. We go to school to learn. We cheat ourselves when we coast on the efforts and scholarship of someone else.

I couldn't speak English. I'm in kindergarten, and the only reason I got through to first grade is because I cheated.

When you can't change what's bothering you, one typical response is to convince yourself that it doesn't actually bother you.

When you've fallen on the highway / and you're lying in the rain, / and they ask you how you're doing / of course you'll say you can't complain.

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self.

I think that everybody does hustle in order to survive. That doesn't mean lying - it's more about how you handle situations.

Life's managed, not cured.

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

We are challenged these days, but not changed; convicted, but not converted. We hear, but do not; and thereby we deceive ourselves.

I cheated a lot, because I just couldn't sit and do homework. I usually sat next to someone extremely smart.

I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree

If you pretend everything's fine long enough, everything eventually becomes fine.

A knave thinks himself a fool, all the time he is not making a fool of some other person.

My head’s under water but I’m breathing fine

I struggled academically throughout elementary school

There's something in human nature, the trying-to-get-on-with-it quality of people, the struggle to maintain or keep the show going can be exhausting. It just seems like that element of trying to move forward while things are breaking down... Obviously, it's always been the backdrop for a lot of great literature and great cinematic characters, but aside from that, I'm just drawn to it because that feels honest to me.

It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.

Those of us forged in the crucibles of difference know that survival is not an academic skill.

We all need a bit of self-delusion. It gets us over the difficult spots.

Every cripple has his own way of walking.

If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.

When new pages are sent to editors and see rejection, we should ask for the reasons. We must study the reasons for failure and learn. It's not about struggle with our limitations or with public or the publishers. It's more about treating it like in aikido; the strength of the attack is used to defeat him with the same effort.

People would rather be deceived than have the truth cause them anxiety

It is not necessarily those lands which are the most fertile or most favored in climate that seem to me the happiest, but those in which a long struggle of adaptation between man and his environment has brought out the best qualities of both.