Wilson Mizner Quotes

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

The present times require the vigor and the activity of the prime of life; but I feel the increasing infirmities of age to such a degree, that I am conscious I cannot serve you to advantage.

Georgia has some really tough allergies.

I've had some surgery and shoulder problems.

I've always enjoyed poor health.

Just ask anybody who is getting old - everything starts hurting. For me, it's my shoulders, thumbs, knees and feet.

When you get older, your health becomes important to you, things start breaking down, you've always got a different ache or pain.

Yeah, we went to England to do a show and I got off the plane and I couldn't write my name or hold my hand up.

Those who are born of parents broken with old age, or of such as are not yet ripe or are too young, or of drunkards, soft or effeminate men, want a great and liberal ingenuity or wit.

It zonked me for three days. I kept falling down and the people at the lab assigned someone to follow me around with a mattress

Lack of education, old age, bad health or discrimination - these are causes of poverty, and the way to attack it is to go to the root.

I just get sick very easily.

They say the first thing to go is your legs, then it's your reflexes, then it's your friends.

At 66, you're supposed to die or get hemorrhoids.

What happens at 90 is that I don't walk so good, my eyes are going, I can't hear well, and I'm getting all of the 90s residuals.

If we now plainly perceive that the passage of the blood from the arteries into the veins of the tadpole is not performed in any other than those vessels, which are so minute as only to admit the passage of a single globule at a time, we may conclude that the same is performed in like manner in our own bodies and in those of other animals.

I've had nine major operations in ten years. A lot of it is to do with something called retroperitoneal fibrosis, where the internal tissues attack each other.

I was a bit of a sickly child!

After sitting for two to three hours at a stretch, my feet just swell up. So I try to walk as much as I can.

The arteries are found in nearly every part of the animal body, with the exception of the hairs, nails, and epidermis; and the larger trunks usually occupy the most protected situations, running, in the limbs, along the flexor side, where they are less exposed to injury.

I'm as strong and supple as a pane of thin glass. I've got too many ailments - left shoulder, left elbow and left wrist - in fact, the whole of the left arm.

Beyond my body my veins are invisible.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

Nine million Americans a year, that we know of, struggle with infertility.