Karl Pilkington Quotes

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

Hell is gone and heaven's here,there's nothing left for you to fear.

I’ve died and gone to heaven

I would go to heaven, if I believed in heaven.

I can assure you that those who have already passed have not only made it to the Other Side, but are in a state of bliss.

Is heaven a hope or as real as the earth and sky?

In our first paradise in Eden there was a way to go out but no way to go in again. But as for the heavenly paradise, there is a way to go in, but not way to go out.

Look up here, I'm in heaven.

We'll tell him his mother waits for him in heaven, I suppose." "Is that a lie?" "It's what we tell fools and children." She sighed. "Postulating a heaven gives man an out for having been unable to retain the paradise he was given here on earth.

Yes, Heaven is thine; but this Is a world of sweets and sours; Our flowers are merely—flowers.

Heaven is neither a place nor a time.

If there is a heaven, Jane Austen is sitting in a small room with Mother Teresa and Princess Diana, listening to Duran Duran, forever. If there's a hell, she's standing.

In hell they will bore you, in heaven you will bore them.

Heaven is not a figment of imagination. It is not a feeling or an emotion. It is not the "Beautiful Isle of Somewhere." It is a prepared place for a prepared people.

In heaven, you get right through. In hell, they put you on hold.

One can see now how the idea of heaven takes hold of men's consciousness, how it gains ground even when all the props have been knocked from under it. There must be another world beside this swamp in which everything is dumped pell-mell. It's hard to imagine what it can be like, this heaven that men dream about.

If there's a heaven, I can't find the stairway

Heaven is not gone, but we are blind with tears, Groping our way along the downward slope of Years!

To me, heaven is a real place. I don't believe it's a state of being.

Even when we allow our imaginations to run wild on the joys of heaven, we find that our minds are incapable of conceiving what it will be like.

There is a world above, Where parting is unknown; A whole eternity of love, Form'd for the good alone; And faith beholds the dying here Translated to that happier sphere.

Heaven is not as narrowly literal-minded as hell.

One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.

We're going to serve in eternity. We're not going to sit around on clouds; you know this whole idea of heaven is wearing white robes with angels and play a harp. To me, that would be hell. I can't think of anything more boring.