Phyllis Diller Quotes

I've never been big on cars. When I first got to Hollywood, I bought a used car from Avis. I drove that until I almost had to pay someone to tow it away.

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.

I love driving cars, looking at them, cleaning and washing and shining them. I clean 'em inside and outside. I'm very touchy about cars. I don't want anybody leaning on them or closing the door too hard, know what I mean?

The easiest and simplest thing that any one can do to make their car safer, more gas efficient, whatever - check the tire pressure.

I'm a huge NASCAR fan, but I'm not a gearhead. I've never been into fixing cars. It's not because I don't like it. I would love to know more. It's just my dad never taught me that stuff because my dad wasn't a mechanic.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

The days when a car aficionado could repair his or her own car are long past, due primarily to the high software content.

I don't like to go over curbs, because I don't want to be hard on the car.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I'll tell you that much. I mean, it's ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick.

I can change a tire, but I couldn't change a fuse on the computer panel on my car.

I like cars. I know some things. I can change my own car and battery and change my own oil.

I like to put on hardcore when I have to clean my apartment, which I hate to do, but it's motivational. I like old heavy metal when I'm outside working on my car. Music has definite functions for me.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I could drive from the age of nine. My dad had his car pitch at home, and we used to drive the cars around the land, take them up to the tap, wash them, and reverse them back.

When I am driving my car down the street, I try not to go down the potholes.

I wash my cars and clean the garage a lot. That's kind of my thing.

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

Genius is fine for the ignition spark, but to get there someone has to see that the radiator doesn't leak and no tire is flat.

A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

Isn't horrible weather great? It means I don't have to wash my car!

Never trust a mechanic who drives new cars. They're either charging too much money for their work, or they can't keep an old car running - maybe both.

The first car I bought was the most beautiful car I've ever seen. It was secondhand, but I parked it outside of my hotel the day I got it. I sat up all night, just lookin' at it.