Marlene Dietrich Quotes

If Home Depot doesn't have it, Mark Bradford doesn't need it.

I grew up around hardware. I could sell you all the plumbing and electricity you want.

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."

I went to the Home Depot, which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot. Which is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying "We don't have to fix anything."

I love going to my supermarket. Sounds so rock 'n' roll, eh?

I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it.

I also had a hosting position on a home and garden television show - which is a joke if you ever see my apartment.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Call me bored, but don't call me boring.

That's sort of what I wanted to make fun of a little bit with Don Jon. And I think oftentimes, if you're going to talk about a sort of substantial topic like this, the best way to do it is with a sense of humor.

Sure I was glad to see John Wayne win the Oscar I'm always glad to see the fat lady win the Cadillac on TV, too.

I don't suppose I can wear the flamingo tie," he said as he pulled on black socks. "It's a bit festive, given the occasion," I responded. "Can't wear it to the opera," said the Colonel, almost smiling. "Can't wear it to a funeral. Can't use it to hang myself. It's a bit useless, as ties go." I gave him a tie.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.

If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.

Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.

I kid because I'm on basic cable.

Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.

This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today is a flask of coffee.

This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it.

Friends call me Hitch. Maybe it can be turned into a 900-phone number. People would pay to talk to me.

I'm a real pawn-shopper.

Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects.

Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well you, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.