Kinky Friedman Quotes

Ireland sober is Ireland stiff.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

I can go eight days without a drink—but who wants to be a camel.

I am not a member of any temperance society; but I am temperate, in this, that I don’t drink anything.

Father Ted' was written by Irish people, so that was fine, but around the time we were shooting it 'EastEnders' went to Ireland and represented it as this terribly backward society where people were going around with one eye and drunk.

The Irishman in English literature may be said to have been born with an apology in his mouth.

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

[On the Irish:] Strange race ... Don't know what they want, but want it like the devil.

Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world.

I can't think of anything you might say about Irish people that is absolutely true.

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

No nation is drunken where wine is cheap; and none sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent spirits as the common beverage. It is, in truth, the only antidote to the bane of whiskey.

My idea of working out is drinking whiskey - instead of beer.

I've often said it: that it is seen to be a place of energy, of excitement, of enthusiasm. That there's something about Ireland.

With Irish drama, things are told with humor.

I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

I would like to break out of this "dark, brooding" image, cause I'm actually not like that at all. In Ireland, brooding is a term we use for hens. A brooding hen is supposed to lay eggs. Everytime somebody says "He's dark and brooding" I think: "He's about to lay an egg".

Americans think the only funny Brits are John Cleese, Benny Hill and whoever makes our toothpaste. They're not laughing with us, they are laughing at us.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

I never turn down a drink. Among friends it’s always appropriate. A man is only a man as they say, but brandy is still brandy. You’ll find that in the Talmud too.

I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.

How much beer is in German intelligence?