Joan Rivers Quotes

I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don't want to be an old hag. There's no fun in that.

All that nipping and tucking doesn't make you look younger - only stranger.

There's a rumor that President George Bush had a nose job, that he had some kind of plastic surgery, that he actually had a nose job. If this is true, that's the first new job he's created since taking office.

I can't see any difference in having your hair dyed, your teeth fixed, your nose done, or your face smoothed out or lifted.

I've had a face-lift. I've had my eyes done; liposuction; the nose job - well, that was a long time ago.

Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.

I thought my nose was too prominent so I had this corrected via plastic surgery in 1959.

I certainly wouldn't have a facelift or a nip and tuck; that fills me with horror.

Yes I've had my nose done.

I've had a lot of plastic surgery, and I'm completely honest about it.

I'll never go down the Botox route. I swear to God, never, ever. I want to look like me… the only thing I've had done is my hair and the bags under my eyes taken away.

I have nothing against a good facelift.

I have nothing against women who decide to have botox done.

I've had my nose done a bunch of times.

I have a professional acquaintance whose recent eyelid job has left her with a permanent expression of such poleaxed astonishment that she looks at all times as if she had just read one of my books.

When asked her view of cosmetic surgery, Carmen Dell'Orefice replies, '”That's a very polite way of asking me, I'm sure, ‘Have you had a facelift?' Well, if you had the ceiling falling down in your living room, would you not go and have a repair?

I wouldn't have a nose job. I like my nose fine.

Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.

Plastic surgery is one of the ways that people deal with the aging process. And I don't mean by using it as a form of denial, but as a kind of negotiation with it.

I notice that the number of cosmetic-surgery operations has risen by 34 per cent in the past year. Once we subtract Jordan, Jodie Marsh and Michael Jackson from those figures, we can see that demand overall may have stabilised.

A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe he's had Botox shots. They claim a number of his worry lines have vanished. They haven't vanished, just Howard Dean is wearing them now.

I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.

You can actually take a weekend course in cosmetic surgery.

Whenever I was flying commercial, I would land in Chicago, and they would announce, 'Get your passports out.' It happened so often, I would walk to the front of the plane and say, 'You're looking for me. Just take me; it will be easier for everybody else.

I have a lot of passion and experience with aesthetic surgery and look forward to helping men and women all over the world.