Gwyneth Paltrow Quotes

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

I like the sound of laughter. I was the guy in the group of friends that would always make the friends laugh. And everyone was like, 'You should do stand up,' so I gave it a shot, and ta-da! They were right.

I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.

I was always pretty funny with my friends.

Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.

I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy.

The bikini waxing, after we go there you can't turn back.

I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.

I'm a huge David Wain fan. He's one of my best friends now, but he just makes me laugh continually, much to the annoyance of his wife.

I love Sian Brooke so much; she's hysterical.

Some of the best comedy comes from squeezing humour from tragedy and struggle, but the main pursuit of comedy should be laughter.

I think if I'm with a friend group, I try to be as funny as possible, and I don't always succeed, obviously.

Back when Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin were doing roasts, they were all friends. They knew each other's children, each other's wives, each other's families. It wasn't about being disrespectful. It was about being funny.

Sometimes I am lucky enough to hang out with Tim Key and he is constantly funny. Every moment. When I haven't seen him for a bit I do his voice in my head to entertain myself.

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.

I feel more confident in being able to be funny if I'm comfortable with the people I'm around. When you're friends with them, it just makes it all the better. Plus, shooting a movie, you're sitting on your ass for hours at a time, so if you have somebody there to mess around with and have fun, then it's great.

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever.

It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse.

I gravitate towards anything that has a grain of comedy to it.

So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh.

I'm a goofball and a comedian.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Why do all these people want [comedians] to be serious? The reason they want that is these are people who aren't funny. Anybody funny can be serious, but people who have no sense of humor, they can never be funny - and frankly, they're jealous. There's very few comic actors. Think about it. There aren't that many. It's hard because you have to be able to do both.