Stephen Rodrick Quotes

I watched the Tyson-Holyfield fight with Stallone. I remember when Tyson bit him, Sly looked at me and said, 'I think he bit him'. I said, 'I think you're right, Rock.'

There was a minor burst of macho nuttiness after 'Jaws' came out, in which people would go off in shark tournaments and come back holding the bloody heads of these animals and say, 'Look what I did.' But they've been doing that for hundreds of thousands of years anyway.

I went to college parties when I was at an appropriate age to go to college parties.

Mike Tyson was probably - positively or negatively - the most recognizable face on the planet: the 'baddest man on the planet.' And you had our new resident baddest man on the planet, Stone Cold Steve Austin, whom fans were just gravitating to in a way they'd never done before, walking out and flipping off Mike Tyson.

I like to go to the frat house and drink with my white friends, because anytime you go drinking at the frat house, white boys bring you a drink and hand it to you like it's a top CIA secret. They'll hand me my drink, and I'll go, 'Man, what the hell is in this?' 'Dude, don't worry. Don't ask, just drink it. I'll see you in 20 minutes.' Next thing you know, I'm buck naked, standing on a coffee table, with a cowboy hat.

Look, people get drunk ... People chase girls. And the point is, it's a hell of a lot better for them to get drunk than to take drugs. It's better to chase girls than boys.

And then he [Mike Tyson] will have only channel vision.

Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.

Drink beer, smoke dope, and eat pussy until your jaw breaks

Is it better not to drink alcohol and eat fried food and not have cheese and never have a cigarette at a party? Of course, but that's just not life.

it's 12 amyl nitrites (one box), in conjunction with as many beers as necessary.

I'm sure most people have this experience: when you're young you drink, you do drugs, you stay up late, and there are no consequences.

I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage.

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.

Evil is in the face of every frat guy that ever raised a beer cup and went "whoooooo!"

Life for young American college graduates is a festive affair. Free of having to support their families, they mostly have gay parties on rooftops where they reflect at length upon their quirky electronic childhoods and sometimes kiss each other on the lips and neck.

Sometimes it’s gin or sometimes it’s some champagne, and sometimes I go on stage with nothing at all. I’m turnt up, naturally.

I wanted to just get a job so I could have enough money for my own apartment and be able to get drunk. And I did. Back then, on $125, you could do that in Manhattan. I was 19 years old the first time I got published and paid. I think it was a hundred bucks. I stared at my name on the check for 20 minutes.

Also, I gained lots of weight between ages 18-20 because I was drinking alcohol at night. Alcohol has lots of calories and that does not help.

Democrats' desperate attempt to focus on campaign finance reform instead of laws that may have been broken by the Clinton-Gore campaign is like Mike Tyson demanding a reform in boxing regulations after biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear.

Drink heavily with locals whenever possible.

If you're spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from?

Some of the morays have held on. When I was in school, I remember asking the question, "Why is it that whenever I walk into a fraternity there's alcohol everywhere and there's no alcohol in a sorority? Why is it that sororities won't allow alcohol, but fraternities do? What is that?" You know, nobody had a really good answer, and that's kind of held on. It's one of the issues that's being examined now - the role of alcohol in sexual assault.

What worries me the most is that most men are so weak. Because of that they act like they don't care and like machos - because they are too fragile inside. They're scared of confrontation and afraid of so many things.

I don’t drink to get drunk. That’s just not cute.