Jon Stewart Quotes

Worrying that banning flag desecration would inhibit free speech reveals a misunderstanding of the flag's fundamental nature.

Laws protecting the United States flag do not cut away at the freedom of speech guaranteed in the First Amendment... Congress made this position clear upon passage of the Flag Protection Act of 1989, which prohibited desecration of the flag.

We can imagine no more appropriate response to burning a flag than to waving one's own, no better way to counter a flag-burner's message than by saluting the flag that burns, no surer means of preserving the dignity even of the flag that burned than by, as one witness here did, according its remains a respectful burial.

If you want a symbolic gesture, don't burn the flag, wash it.

I've raised my children to respect that flag, to stand, to put their hand across their heart and to recognize those sacrifices that have been made and I believe they're raising their children with that same belief.

[ James Comey] was acting in concert and coordination with the House Republicans. End of story. He gave a letter to them. They gave it to FOX News. Also, we have this extraordinary case of the KGB being involved in this race and selectively leaking things from the [Hillary] Clinton campaign that they hacked.

I hope that Republicans in the House and Mr. Cantor will embrace that as part of immigration reform.

Donald Trump is now said that he wants to have a plan that's more harmonized with what House Republicans under speaker Paul Ryan have proposed.

It was a very different Republican Party in 2013. And so I think particularly the House Republicans are more confrontational, less willing to compromise even than the Republican class of '94.

Today House Republicans are doing what they always do - using taxpayers' money to continue investigating claims that have already been debunked just to keep them in the headlines one more day.

Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

You are sitting here defending an assault on American democracy. Somebody probably said nice things about anybody at a given point. This is an unprecedented event that was done at the behest of the House Republicans that was leaked to the press by the House Republicans.

For the United States, our political system is clearly distorted. We have gerrymandering so that there is a situation where a million more voters who vote for Democrats, yet the House is controlled by the Republicans. So clearly, the way our Congress operates is important. The other big issue is the influence of money in politics. It's not only campaign contributions. People like Trump - either you become very dependent on your benefactors or you are very rich.

You probably think that being a guest in your aunt's house I would hesitate to butter you all over the front lawn and dance on the fragments in hobnailed boots, but you are mistaken. It would be a genuine pleasure. By an odd coincidence I brought a pair of hobnailed boots with me!' So saying, and recognising a good exit line when he saw one, he strode out, and after an interval of tense meditation I followed him. (Spode to Wooster)

Religion is not like a house or a cloak which can be changed at will.

It's going to be very important that we as women's rights advocates are involved in redistricting of both the states legislatures and of the House of Representatives and that we not lose seats but we gain seats for talented women and our country, but we're lacking behind.

Perhaps it's true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house---the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture---must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstitutred. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story.

A house is never perfectly furnished for enjoyment unless there is a child in it rising three years old, and a kitten rising three weeks.

The highest levels of the U.S. military, the Defense Department, and the White House must be held accountable for putting our troops at greater risk and diminishing Americas moral authority across the globe.

We paid for this instead of a generation of health insurance, or an alternative energy grid, or a brand-new system of roads and highways. With the $13-plus trillion we are estimated to ultimately spend on the bailouts, we could not only have bought and paid off every single sub-prime mortgage in the country (that would only have cost $1.4 trillion), we could have paid off every remaining mortgage of any kind in this country - and still have had enough money left over to buy a new house for every American who does not already have one.

I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.

I live in a 9 million dollar turd.

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.