Tina Fey Quotes

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Satire is, by definition, offensive. It is meant to make us feel uncomfortable. It is meant to make us scratch our heads, think, do a double-take, and then think again.

If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

Once you get my snark going, I'll just start snarking it up all over Twitter.

As comics if you aren't rubbing people the wrong way, to me, you suck.

I think, in moderation, taunting is a part of life.

Walking over to Iggy, he poked him with his shoe. "Does anysing on you vork properly?" Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold onto someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert," Iggy said truthfully.

Are you stupid or did you just take lessons?

Satire is dependent on strong beliefs, and on strong beliefs wounded.

Remind me one day to teach you how to achieve a sneer, Hugh. Yours is too pronounced, and thus but a grimace. It should be but a faint curl of the lips.

The man who thrusts his manners upon me does as if he were to insist on introducing me to his cabinet of curiosities, when I wished to see himself.

I suppose the difference between baby people and me is that I do not consider smiling while farting 'holding up your end of a conversation.

Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously

When Jennie, mother of Winston Churchill invited playwright George Bernard Shaw to lunch, he telegraphed: "Certainly not. What have I done to provoke such an attack on my well-known habits?" She replied, "Know nothing of your habits; hope they are better than your manners."

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said. "Don't call my boobs funny," I answered.

Please, Lord Maccon, use one of the cups. My delicate sensibilities.” The earl actually snorted. “My dear Miss Tarabotti, if you possessed any such things, you certainly have never shown them to me.

Did they find something wanting in you, Gemma, at the party? You didn’t speak too freely or behave…strangely?” I grew claws and bayed at the moon. I confessed that I eat the hearts of small children. I told them I like the French.

I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable. "Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.

There's not much I dislike more than being addressed as "Hey you" and being poked with a finger.

I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.

If there's anyone still present whom I've failed to insult . . . I apologize.

How was I to know idiocy was only a temporary condition, especially in your case? It never has been before!

As my Lord says, my Lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my Lord, for instructing me.

How many times have I laughed at you telling me plainly that I was too lazy to be anything but a lawyer.