Joan Rivers Quotes

In March I had a minor heart attack while I was vacationing in Australia. it scared me, but it was nothing compared to what someone had in store for me down the road.

Yeah, I guess everyone's had a reasonable amount of sex in their lives, some less than others.

Sexual intercourse is a slight attack of apoplexy.

Sex is a body-contact sport. It is safe to watch but more fun to play.

The last decision I made was my health when I had a heart attack when I was 51.

I wish I could be whole for you…I wish I could hold you and dance with you, take you in my arms and make love to you the way I want to. (Adron) And I’m just grateful I have you at all. It’s not your body or face that I love, Adron. It’s your heart, your soul, and your mind. (Livia)

I need someone to shut off my brain, and turn on my heart.

I'm in favor of sexual encounters.

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

I wish I could love people as you do, Molly!' 'Don't you?' said the other, in surprise. 'No. A good number of people love me, I believe, or at least they think they do; but I never seem to care much for any one. I do believe I love you, little Molly, whom I have only known for ten days, better than any one.

Sex is my favorite sport. I'm always in the mood.

That was what a best friend did: hold up a mirror and show you your heart.

Sex is an extremely subtle undertaking, unlike going to the department store on a Sunday to buy a thermos.

When I play, I make love – it is the same thing.

All you have to do is open your heart, just like you opened your legs.

Your heart and your mouth wil be in two separate parts of your body if you again forget in whose presence you stand.

I would say that I am having less sex now that I’m playing in Serie B – there is more to think about in this division.

Sex is the greatest driving force on this planet. Christ, why are we living if we can't have a little fun? Sex is giving, and the more you give, the better lover you are.

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up.

People die of broken hearts. They have heart attacks. And it's the heart that hurts most when things go wrong and fall apart.

It's not the gods But our own hearts We need to fear. The evil starts Against all odds Not there but here.

Only a fool is interested in other people's guilt, since he cannot alter it. The wise man learns only from his own guilt. He will ask himself: Who am I that all this should happen to me? To find the answer to this fateful question he will look into his own heart.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.