Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

I poke fun of everybody and everything. And who's easier to make fun of than your mother?

Dying is easy; comedy is hard.

There's an art to comedy.

I think the Mama people remember is from 'Mama's Family.' She really turned into a pretty cool character. The sketches from the 'Burnett' show, if people are old enough to remember, were written by writers who all hated their mothers.

In comedy, it's so subjective; there is no right or wrong.

Music is never inherently funny!

If you have a mother-in-law with only one eye and she has it in the center of her forehead, don't keep her in the living room.

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to my wife. She'd be talking to me about something very serious and then I would just look at her and go "Where are you from originally?" And she would go "Humphhh! C'mon. That's terrible!"

The kind of über-objective is to make people laugh. You always have to have that in the back of your mind, "Eh, I've got to figure out a way to make this funny."

A good musical comedy consists largely of disorderly conduct occassionally interrupted by talk.

Hyacinth,” Lady Bridgerton said in a vaguely disapproving voice, “do try to speak in complete sentences.” Hyacinth looked at her mother with a surprised expression. “Biscuits. Are. Good.” She cocked her head to the side. “Noun. Verb. Adjective.” “Hyacinth.” “Noun. Verb. Adjective.” Colin said, wiping a crumb from his grinning face. “Sentence. Is. Correct.

I've always loved The Simpsons, just because it was really, really funny. As a kid, you love the characters. You know that the dad is dumb and frustrated, and you know that the boy is smarter than everyone else around him and is constantly getting into mischief.

William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

My mother's greatest joy in life was to make people laugh.

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Comedy is a noble art. And every comedian who does anything is serving a noble purpose.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.