George Carlin Quotes

The number of Negroes imported into the island [West Indies] and retained for its [England’s] consumption was more than double the number that existed there in 1817, and could scarcely have been less than 750,000 and certainly, at the most moderate estimate, not less than 700,000. If to these we were to add the children that must have been born on the Island in the long period of 178 years, and then reflect that all who remained for emancipation amounted to only 311,000 we should find ourselves forced to the conclusion that slavery was here attended with a destruction of life almost without a parallel in the history of a civilized nation.

You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Your chances of dying a violent death are 1/500th of what they used to be during medieval times.

Even if smog were a risk to human life, we must remember that life in nature, without technology, is wholesale death.

I was told that consulates are all gobbled up long ago—that ... [a candidate's] only chance is the death or resignation of the present incumbents; and you know "few die and none resign.

Doctors can do almost anything nowadays, can't they, unless they kill you while they're trying to cure you.

Since 1914, we have endured world wars, genocides and government-sponsored famines, not to mention civil strife, riots and murders. Altogether, we have killed a staggering 100 million to 200 million of our own kind. But over the century, about 10 billion lives were lived — which means that just 1 to 2 percent of the world’s population died violently. Those lucky enough to be born in the 20th century were on average 10 times less likely to come to a grisly end than those born in the Stone Age.

The states with the highest proportion of gun ownship have the highest death rate from guns.

No one should die when they're 50.

My career proves that you can be on top for a long period of time by doing things that come naturally.

Anyone who was been injured for a long period can emphasise how happy you are when you are able to be back on the pitch.

After so many surgeries, I had to modify my game. I know what I can and can't do in order to keep performing for a long period of time.

Anybody can do something one time. You have a great year because everything goes right. But can you maintain it and sustain it for a long period of time as Coach Carroll did and Coach Saban?

If you have a lot of injuries for a long period, that makes it more normal to bring in new players.

People react differently to hearing 'Procedure X has a 70 percent chance of survival' and 'Procedure Y has a 30 percent chance of death.' Phrased that way, people flock to Procedure X, even though the numbers are the same.

It's always better if you have one manager for a long period because then you can build the team.

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

Some people live. Some people die.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

Time has an undertaking establishment on every block and drives his coffin nails faster than the steam riveters rivet or the stenographers type or the tickers tick out fours and eights and dollar signs and ciphers.

I said, 'I need to know how he died.' He flipped back and pointed at, 'Why?' So I can stop inventing how he died. I'm always inventing.

Men die. It's practically what they're for.

We’re all dying, Cassel. It’s just that some of us are dying faster than others.

No, that's because there are more interesting things to do." Her grandmother looked at her sharply. "Like cutting into dead bodies" Carmeryn swallowed back her irration. "Yeah-the live one kick too much.