Chelsea Handler Quotes

You know a little drink now and then never hurt nobody, but when you can't git started without asking the bottle, you in trouble.

I am a recovering alcoholic.

A horrid alcoholic explosion scatters all my good intentions like bits of limbs and clothes over the doorsteps and into the saloon bars of the tawdriest pubs.

I look up the telephone number of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then, my hands shaking, I open the bar and drink the leftover whiskey, gin and vermouth-whatever I can lay my shaking hands on.

Drugs and alcohol were ruling my life. I made a lot of bad decisions while I was drinking alcohol. The first thing I stopped was cigarettes and tobacco.

I know I can get to the stage where I'm drinking a lot. I tend to be rotten and groggy all day and hanging out for the next drink and five o'clock, ping! I have to just stop.

I've been in a treatment center for drinkin'. I stayed for two days, then escaped.

When I got sober, that was 1990.

I'm a recovering alcoholic so I should be home.

I didn't check into rehab. Instead of me heading into a place - I was just drinking too much and I needed to get my life together. I'm still in therapy and stuff like that, but it's good. I'm great. I feel fine.

I'll say that I don't think you can throw a stone and not come in contact with someone who knows someone or has problems with substance abuse.

It's not a crime to get drunk.

I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.

I had to accept that I was an alcoholic, that was the main thing. I think you've got to. But I try not say that I'm an alcoholic. I prefer to say that it's a disease I've got.

I had what AA calls 'a convincer' - which made me realize that I couldn't do it any more. I went out drinking for about 70 hours here in London. At the end I knew I was done.

Some people recovering from drugs or alcohol stay with the programs indefinitely, making the recovery program their family, a long-term source of attention rewards.

Substance abuse is a disease which doesn't go away overnight. I'm working hard to overcome it. I did fail my recent drug test. I'm prepared to face the consequences.

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

I began drinking alcohol at the age of thirteen and gave it up in my fifty sixth year; it was like going straight from puberty to a mid-life crisis.

Mr. Speaker, as a grateful recovering alcoholic of 24 years myself, I am living proof that treatment does work and that recovery is real.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

To me, it is like a diabetic with insulin. If that diabetic stops taking insulin, they will die, and I believe that if I don't follow the 12-step programme, I will regress, and that could eventually be the death of me.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is riotous; and whoever is deceived by it is not wise

I made some mistakes. I occasionally drank too much, and I did that night.

We are fighting Germany, Austria and drink, and as far as I can see, the greatest of these three deadly foes is drink.