Gilbert Gottfried Quotes

You know, almost everyone is an irritant to me. I think people have forgotten what the word 'public' means. 'Public' means you're going to be irritated. It's a natural consequence of leaving one's home. You go outside, and there are people who are irritating. I'll be standing on the sidewalk, and someone berates me for smoking. I look at the person and think, but what about your shoes? How can you wear shoes like that and have the confidence to accost someone like me?

[The passage of the Sugar Act] set people a thinking, in six months, more than they had done in their whole lives before.

The first time I saw a fingerbowl was at the home of my benefactress. [...] The water had a few cherry blossoms in it, and I thought it must be some clear sort of Japanese after-dinner soup and ate every bit of it, including the crisp little blossoms.

I want to re-visit everything. We're people and we're so different. I think it would just be nice if it wasn't just like, "Eww, women." That would be a big thing for me.

I think a single woman's biggest problem is coping with the people who are trying to marry her off!

Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, 'I ate waffles for breakfast!' That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

I understand that actors lose their looks, they change over time, but people don't lose their talent. I think that, as people get older and the people who make the decisions get older, they don't like hiring people much older than them because it reminds them of their fathers, and they don't like telling people older than them what to do. It makes them uncomfortable. I think that happens a lot.

I don't think I'm abnormal and I think that lets people down.

Sexuality is so much more complex than our boobs. My sexuality isn't me as an object to be looked at. It's the way I say "hello" to somebody, the way I sit with somebody. A body is just a body. But we're really afraid of bodies. They hold a lot of power - I think that's why people can try to shame them so easily, because they are so powerful.

I can't think of a society on Earth where people don't take drugs that any of us would want anything to do with.

You cannot lecture another people about what you think is right or wrong based on your value system unless you're willing to accept others imposing their value system on you.

I think the Internet shortens the distance between people, and that can often lead to inappropriateness.

I think people take their behavioural tips from everyone else. So, if the director is calm and the lead actors are calm, no one wants to be the sore thumb. And I've remained friendly with everyone.

What I saw in that country, I saw in that country and I saw people respect him and his family and that's what I mean about that.

People and their rituals. They cling to things so hard sometimes.

If I'm engrossed in a book, I have to rearrange my thoughts before I can mingle with other people, because otherwise they might think I was strange.

There are a lot of people who must have the table laid in the usual fashion or they will not enjoy the dinner.

I probably not as likely to say what's on my mind, and I think most people aren't. It's not something I would want to always be doing. So that's why I'm not a politician.

I'm not like a politician that goes around talking about family values. And I can't get fired from being a funny person because I did something that most people are disapproving of. I think people are just obsessed with this morality that people perceive as being the right and wrong way of doing stuff.

Americans give you the violence, Europeans give you the sex. I think people have been saying that since the 70s. And I think it's kind of pathetic that Americans are still stuck - on the shock value of violence, when sex is such a natural thing for everybody.

The only people we can think of as normal are those we don't yet know very well.

People don't like to hear the truth out here cause the truth makes them think.

You look how you look. Be comfortable. What are you going to do? Be hungry every single day to make other people happy? That's just dumb.

Think how much better it is to criticize conventional customs if you yourself live up to them, scrupulously.