Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Does no one think to warn people before they meet me?" Vlad muttered, shooting an irritable look at Mencheres.

Technically, of course, he was right. Socially, he was annoying us.

It is annoying when people call me Matilda instead of my name when they actually know my name, because you know, we are two different people. But what can you do?

I never feel any aggravation from the public.

In some cases, I quite like irritating people who need to be irritated.

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.

People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

Whatever. Boris, must you constantly breathe on me?

I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"

I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

If you mean you think it is my job to go into the secret passage first, O Thorin Thrain’s son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer,” he said crossly, “say so at once and have done!

It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves

We must leave our pets at home, when we go into the street, and meet men on broad grounds of good meaning and good sense.

A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. you're a moron. I have nothing to say, you know?

Arguing with people is like reading your e-mail at 4 in the morning. There is absolutely no good that can come of it. It's just scratching an itch.

I'm always afraid, because I do most of my stuff at home, where nobody bothers me, and I don't have to stroke somebody's ego or be careful about hurting someone's feelings. But I also want to know that I can still go into the world and be with other people and make music.

Next time I’ll just send the three of you e-mails. What was I thinking when I decided to have this meeting? (Acheron) Oh, I know. That men who are a couple of thousand years old could actually behave like grownups? (Nick) (Zarek elbowed Nick in the stomach.) Oops. Involuntary arm spasm. (Zarek)

If I'm engrossed in a book, I have to rearrange my thoughts before I can mingle with other people, because otherwise they might think I was strange.

Look guys, if you're just going to stare at me, I'm going to bed!

Vee: And I'm not going to let you sit at home all afternoon with your sour face on. Nora: I don't have a sour face. Vee: Yes, you do. And you're wearing it right now. Nora: This is my annoyed face. You woke me up at six in the morning!

I think that you have to let yourself be agitated and annoyed and not be fully comfortable.

I think people need more to do in their life if my hair pisses them off.

People frequently bore me, sometimes amuse me, most often irritate me, but rarely intrigue me.

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?