Stephen Colbert Quotes

You have but one method to avoid the tempest that threatens you. Receive priests, who will teach you the Christian religion, embrace it, and adore the Cross; otherwise I will pursue you everywhere, and God shall decide whether you or I be master of Egypt.

From our point of view it's important that Apple not be the developer for the world. We can't take all of our energy and all of our care and finish the painting, then have someone else put their name on it.

Religion is a valid inquiry; whether society accepts it or rejects it, it doesn't matter. Man is a religious animal and is going to remain that way. Religion is something natural. To ask from where you come is relevant; to ask, 'Who am I?' is going to remain relevant always. But the modern mind has created a climate of atheism so you cannot ask such questions. If you ask, people laugh. If you talk about such things, people feel bored If you start inquiring in these ways, people think you are slipping out of your sanity. Religion is no longer a welcome inquiry.

Religion is a by-product of fear. For much of human history it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn’t killing people in the name of god a pretty good definition of insanity?

I chose the name Pi because it's an irrational number (one with no discernable pattern). Yet scientists use this irrational number to come to a "rational" understanding of the universe. To me, religion is a bit like that, "irrational" yet with it we come together we come to a sound understanding of the universe.

When somebody is flying airplanes into buildings and killing innocent people in the name of God, it makes you question why do they have that interpretation and somebody else has another interpretation, and how many people of Muslim faith would agree with that, and what are the different aspects of different people's religions that is so divisive, rather than being unifying?

My idea of what God should be is a good guy. I don't think there's any good in killing people in the name of your God.

When we ask God to 'bring an end to our enemies,' we should be thinking about Iran, those evil ones who threaten Israel.

The ultimate goal of the anti-religious elites is to transform America into a completely secular nation, a nation that is legally and culturally biased against Christianity.

Hypocrisy and distortion are passing currents under the name of religion

Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives.

The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing.

Fanaticism is the greatest threat today. Literally, the 21st century threatened by fanatics, and we have fanatics in every religion, unfortunately, and what can we do against them? Words nothing else, I'm against violence but only words.

Her name is Wanda, not it. You will not touch her. Any mark you leave on her, I will double on your worthless hide.

I'm evil, my middle name is misery. Well, I'm evil, so don't mess around with me.

Christ is the great central fact in the world's history. To Him everything looks forward or backward. All the lines of history converge upon Him.

If we get it wrong about Jesus, it doesn’t matter what else we get right.

Morality, taken as apart from religion, is but another name for decency of sin.

What is your name?" Why?" So I can mark your grave.

The frustrating thing is that those who are attacking religion claim they are doing it in the name of tolerance, freedom and openmindedness. Question: Isn't the real truth that they are intolerant of religion? They refuse to tolerate its importance in our lives.

the fastest-growing brand of religion is of the magical 'name it and claim it' variety, in which the deity exists only to meet one's immediate, self-identified needs.

War isn’t declared in the name of God; it is a human affair entirely.

When you have proved that God is merely a name for the sex instinct, it appears to me not far to the perception that the sex instinct is God.

It's amazing how relaxing it is not to claim you know more than you do. I'm surprised that those who claim to speak in the name of god don't take more advantage of this relief.

The only figure in history who endures is Jesus.